first of all, be quiet. Shhhh. Shut up.
Good, now I have your attention.
I have a question for you. How are you here? Europe isn't that cheap, especially the central-student areas you prowl. You don't have jobs, and you seem to be massively under-qualified for anything above bar-keeping but still you have the money to be able to go from cheap hostel to cheap hostel, being loud. I know you don't spend a lot while you are here, only splashing out on cheap hostels, kebabs and beer, but it adds up. And I know, I know you save on toiletries and grooming but still, how do you afford it?
Are the Australian government funding these ventures? Is this a cock-eyed way of spreading Australianism round the world? Because if it is, it's not doing that well. Europe is now sick of loud people who sound sort of English in flip-flops.
That's a point. Take off the flip-flops and put on some footwear suitable for long-distance travelling. Like, oooh I don't know, shoes?
Aren't you bored of Europe? there are only so many bars to frequent, only so many naive student girls to impress and so many bad t shirts to wear. Australia is beautiful, hot and clean - so go home. And have a shave.
And when are you leaving? You seem to get older and older, but still seem to infest our tourist hotspots with cries of 'I don't know mate, I was wassssstttteeeeedd!' and 'OI, get us a laaaaaaaager'. I fear for the day when Australia is inundated with late 20 somethings with great travel experience looking for office entry level jobs.
So Australian backpacker, just tone it down a bit. We all know who you are, you don't need to wear the Aussie flag shorts to prove your nationality. The tan and the burping do that for you.
Love, Lee xxx
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