case of the crazies

Szerencs entertained us during our very last weekend with a sort of fair. It was mainly a tractor sale, but out here that's a day out.

So lots of tractors, combine harvesters, and other vehicles which did stuff to plants and the ground. The kids enjoyed themselves, sitting on said tractors. I didn't. It was set to be a boring, Hungarian, crappy afternoon. That is until we wandered up to the Scientologists.

Scientologists in Szerencs. Scientologists at a tractor fair. Hungarian Scientologists.

I thought these loons were saved for LA and to a lesser extent, London. There are lots of people in those places who are prime scientologist bait - vain, insecure, feelings of self-importance, self-deluded. I thought it was just a c*** (see below) for people who looked in the mirror a lot. And that's OK, I mean we already have Kabbalah, what harm will another c*** do?

But it seems they are pushing further afield. They got Cruise, got Travolta and it seems like they got Will Smith too. But now they want the backward, rural Hungarians too.

Why?

There were about 10 helpers, all with their Dianetics polo shirts, giving the famous stress test (hold some metal rods!) and trying to sell their bad cheesy literature. Confused, simple Szerencians sat at the tables and looked as though they were truly terrified. It wasn't washing with them, at all. 

They came to sit on tractors, eat breaded goods and watch the wholly inappropriate afternoon teenage lingerie show. They didn't want to be told about L. Ron Hubbard and his bad sci-fi. The Dad probably wanted a weed whacker and mum just wanted to be out the kitchen. Then before they know it, they are tied to a stress test and asked if they are thetans. 

It's tough enough explaining to a Hungarian that they are not the grand old masters of central Europe, let alone tell them they have come from the souls of aliens who were trapped in a volcano. 

Scientology works on the wack jobs in the western world, so eaten up with guilt, consumerism and the media shit storm, they attach themselves to alien stories. But people who live here, literally the edge of Europe, are just not so easily swayed by the crazies are they? Actually, I suppose they were convinced by the Nazis, the Communists and the anti-fashion police. Maybe they are gullible enough to become scientologists.

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c*** - noun, a system of religious veneration and devotion directed towards a particular figure or object. (I have heard they take offense to being called a c***, so I have blanked it out for fear of a law suit via google searches). I am shit scared of scientologists. 

If you haven't got it, it rhymes with Kult.